When I was rereading this comic, I was so amazed at my 14-year-old self’s ability to brain fart for 43 comic pages, that it’s kind of a wonder I decided to share this comic here, at all… But then I began to think it could be kind of funny to read, exactly because it’s such an incredibly dumb story.
The drawing style, plot elements and just the entire feel of the comic are so influenced by the manga artist Arina Tanemura that it’s shameless. Thank heavens I haven’t drawn anything quite as derivative as this since. Even my older comic, Lorraine’s Lilies is deep and original compared to this.
But fear not, I shall walk you through it!
Wow, a collage, because I was too lazy to draw a title page. The title is pretty weak by the way, because it doesn’t actually have that much to do with the story.
Meet Ririka, the dumbest main character I have ever created. She’s a 13-year-old Japanese girl (because I HAD TO have Japanese names in my comic when I was going through the biggest manga phase in my life) and she mopes about not remembering who she got this old marionette from. Couldn’t she have like… asked her parents? They don’t appear in a single panel of this story, because YA.
The informational value of this page is pretty close to zero. I’m sure I could’ve conveyed the idea of two girls coming from school in less that an entire page.
And of course, the other reason why I HAD TO have this comic set in Japan was so that I could draw cute school uniforms. The cuteness is subjective and basically they’re a worse version of every school uniform drawn by Tanemura.
What on earth is that screen tone???
Yeah um… Of course your average Japanese town has forests at every corner and so many spruces in them! Just like Finland! Seriously, what was I THINKING?
Nothing, obviously.
And why would a HOT AIR BALLOON land into a FOREST?
Clearly all my decisions in the comic were cosmetic. I’m sure that makes for a great plot.
Meet Roota. He’s… problematic. (Probably because pretty much all Tanemura’s male characters are problematic.) But I’ll let that play out.
However, I actually kind of love the fact that he landed in a forest in a balloon, like, five minutes ago, and immediately climbed a tree for no reason.
One of the purposes of this comic seems to be to showcase every background element I could possibly create with my screen tones. And of course, the fact that they don’t make any sense is cool, because Tanemura does it too.
Meet the only adult in the comic. He has exactly two panels.
Okay. He came in a hot air balloon from CHINA. I’m not sure if that’s even possible. But okay, sure, fine. Whatever.
I honestly laughed so much I cried when I reread this.
And why did he go walk them home? Doesn’t anyone wonder if he’ll find his way back in this supposedly unfamiliar town?
Okay, so maybe he knows his way around a little from previous visits to his aunt, but hardly so well, right? Maybe he’s just really good at directions… but why does everyone assume so? Okay, maybe they talked about it, but I sure didn’t fill the reader in.
And seriously, couldn’t I have just DRAWN that wall?? Did I HAVE to use a screen tone for it?
I’m sure I thought these backgrounds were clever, back then…
I kind of love it that Ririka doesn’t think of the obvious: that he’s hitting on her. Instead she thinks he’s suspicious in some other way. Haha.
I was kinda hoping that Roota would turn out to be a time lord, when I reread this! Oh, now I’ve spoiled it, haven’t I? He’s not a time lord. I’m sure you’re shocked.
These scenes with the marionette feel so completely separate from the rest of the comic.
But apparently she mopes about this every night?
Why does the terrace end before Ririka’s door? Just because I wanted to draw her bare feet reaching the ground? Dumb.
Okay, so now we know why Roota, a boy who just came from freaking China, knew which school’s uniform Ririka was wearing. But how dumb is Ririka for not wondering about it at all before??
And why would anyone in this situation go to a local school for just two weeks? How believable is that?
These girls…
…are one of the biggest shoujo manga clichés.
But Ririka, you’re the idiot of the story.
He’s a time lord who came to her when she was a child, right? Right??
No, but seriously, why doesn’t she just ask him why, instead of just yelling at him?
OF COURSE he’s there.
And how the hell is that thing attached to the tree??? There’s nothing holding it up!
Also, it just looks like a tree house no one bothered to finish.
Catch up, Ririka, now he’s definitely given you a clue that he knows you.
Oh my God. The girl suddenly realizes the annoying boy has a “deep” side. This is every shoujo manga ever. I kinda hate this trope.
I told you, Ririka, he’s a time lord! The balloon is his TARDIS.
Why don’t you ask?? You’re content thinking he just has some magical ability to understand you? That’s really healthy, Ririka.
Yes, just like in every respectable shoujo manga, the best friend’s only reason for existing is the main character’s love life. (I mean it’s pretty obvious there’s some romantic coding there.)
Oh my God. This comic is the embodiment of every trope I hate.
And did he just trust that he would randomly run into them one evening, so he could ask them to the party, or did he at least plan to do it at school?
I’m pretty sure I only drew this scene because I wanted to make that lightning effect in the background.
Yeah, it’s so melodramatic that I’d definitely get a high grade in Tanemura school.
Oh, he’s not a time lord! They just knew each other in kindergarten… That’s really anticlimactic now.
And for clarity’s sake, this is not Ririka remembering. It’s just a random flash back. Very good storytelling, there.
Very smooth for a kindergartener, Roota, very smooth indeed. I bet you wanted to make sure no other boy would talk as sweetly to her until you came back, didn’t you?
No, but seriously, WHO talks like that?? Certainly not a little kid.
(Well, they do in Tanemura’s series.)
Of course that’s when you remember.
Um, very smooth change of scene? Suddenly Roota’s face is just there and he’s remembering what Ayumi said, but we have no clue where he is.
And “I wouldn’t worry about it”? Ayumi? Seriously? According to your knowledge, he’s leaving TOMORROW. And you just trust that’s enough time for Ririka to remember? Have you been reading too much shoujo manga? (I certainly had.) WHY don’t you just tell him to TALK to her??? You are the worst cookie-cutter best friend!
Actually, the upper half of this page is kind of pretty.
But seriously? They kept the balloon in the forest??
Suddenly, Ririka’s tree and the balloon were actually close to each other the whole time? I’m pretty sure I just decided that on this page.
One thing becomes clear by looking at this page: I was not paying for my screen tones myself…
Oh, come on, Ririka, he’s not dead.
And there he is! How utterly surprising.
THIS. THIS! THIS!! This is what brings us to the biggest problem in this story! And in Roota’s character.
Okay. So he was NEVER going back to China. He was always going to stay. But he lied to EVERYONE about it, just because he was trying to manipulate Ririka into remembering him again? While he could’ve just been honest in the first place? Like, did he think it wouldn’t have enough emotional impact on Ririka if he just told her? Then how good friends were you? ARGH.
(The fact that he threw a going away party for himself probably just means he wanted to use the excuse to party, but that’s kind of hilariously dumb too.)
So… this was your only reason??
How did his father even agree to this? Imagine that conversation: “Hey, Dad, after living in China for most of my childhood and teenage years now, I’ve decided I want to go back to Japan because there was this one girl in kindergarten and I’ve decided she means more to me than any of the friends I’ve had since.” (Judging by this story, he’d have many.) “Sure, son, go ahead. How lucky your aunt still lives in that town.”
*Sigh*
Okay, so most of the people I know don’t even remember the friends they had in kindergarten. (I do, but even I wouldn’t have moved to another country because of any of them almost TEN years later, and I’m probably the most sentimental person I know.)
Let this be the lesson: This is what happens when you get your inspiration solely from another story and not reality.
Besides, this is exactly the kind of story I hate these days: Everything could be solved by the characters just talking to each other. If Ririka had just asked a couple of questions there would be no plot.
So she’s not at all angry at him for not telling her what he knew all along, and she doesn’t feel at all manipulated and cheated? Instead, she feels guilty for not remembering something that happened when she was, like, FOUR years old. And he’s acting like it’s something to forgive her. He shouldn’t even feel it’s something that needs forgiving.
Good luck with your relationship. I’m sure it’s going to be healthy.
I’m sure I meant this story to be sweet when I drew it, but seriously, it’s creepy. And so unrealistic it was the dumbest choice to place it in the real world. (Actually I did originally set it in a steampunk world, but, then… I was too fascinated with the school life in shoujo manga, I guess.)
I remember thinking: “I want to draw one traditional (=cheesy) shoujo manga so that I can use everything I’ve learned about the style of those comics.” Maybe I did what I set out to do a bit too literally.
Let’s give me an overall review:
The copying of Arina Tanemura’s style: Pretty good for a 14-year-old, my technical drawing has improved some since Lorraine’s Lilies.
The characters: Weak, but sometimes funny.
The plot: Horrible.
It’s… readable though. I mean, the technical aspects of moving the story forward in comic form generally work well enough (except for a couple of clumsy time skips), at least considering that I was very young.
All in all, I believe this is still the worst comic I have ever drawn. I usually get praised for the content, it was that way ever since I was a kid. It’s more likely for me to write a meaningful story and gloss over some technical details, than draw an eye candy comic with no meaning and flat characters.
This is why this comic is such a black sheep among all my creative work.
But I guess enough time has passed now, so I no longer find it JUST embarrassing, but also funny.
I just have to accept that I had read a lot of something that wasn’t exactly such a great influence, and as a result, I drew something horrible. But I guess I just have to forgive my young self. ^^’ Some 14-year-olds shoplift. I drew a problematic comic. *shrug* It’s just a different dumb thing to do.
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