I’ve always liked that word. Promise. I was fascinated by its positivity. Breaking a promise meant actual consequences for people. It wasn’t made up, arranged, like losing money in a bet. A promise made people suffer once broken.

Not that I liked people suffering, never. I was just fascinated by the way promises really existed on a metaphysical level. They had consequences independent of what was settled between people. Promises existed on their own once people honestly made one. If they just cared, promises would always have immediate consequences. That’s why I found it so… real.

I still do, that hasn’t changed. It’s just that it was easier to be fascinated by observing when I was just a child and just an observer, nothing more. The magic will disappear once you get too involved with it yourself. Once you really experience it.

I think I broke too many promises, and it caused too much immediate guilt for me to be able to be fascinated by it anymore.

I still like the idea, though. But I’m sure I would like it better if I could keep some promises for a change. Even just to myself.

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